Posted under Humor
- In March, Democrats in Congress will propose an amnesty bill for illegal aliens that includes free college tuition if they register to vote.Â The more conservative and pro-business Republicans will counter with a plan that will also include free Univision hook-ups to illegal immigrants who wear an American flag pin.
- Heidi Beirich of the Southern Poverty Law Center will stumble upon information revealing the resurgence of the KKK, the Nazi party, and KAOS.Â At a tense news conference, she will announce how these groups have allied in a conspiracy to deface Kwanza decorations throughout southwest Montgomery.Â Alerted just in time, the FBI nabs the conspirators red-handed.Â The inspiring story will be made into a Hallmark movie entitled, â€œHow Heidi saved Kwanza,â€ starring Angelina Jolie as Heidi and Brad Pitt as Mark Potok.
- A syndicated Neocon columnist will argue in March that the US needs to bomb somebody, and soon.
- A syndicated liberal columnist will argue the US should preemptively arrest home-grown extremist groups, including Al-Qaeda-in-New Jersey, the Teutonic Skinhead Knights, and all Christian churches.
- Ed Sebesta, who pursues â€œneo-Confederatesâ€ the way Wile E. Coyote pursues Roadrunner, will discover that a leading fashion designer long rumored to be part of the vast â€œneo-Confederateâ€ movement subliminally incorporates Confederate themes into his clothing.Â Maybe Ralph Lauren.Â Or Larry the Cable Guy.
- Despite DCâ€™s best efforts, including invading and occupying Moslem countries, imposing economic sanctions, and propping up despised military dictators, the Middle East will grow increasingly unstable.Â And just as mysteriously, US prestige will continue to drop throughout the region.Â