Everyone’s up in arms about Jamie Foxx. Seems he went on Saturday Night Live to promote his latest movie, Django Unchained, and said, “I kill all the white people in the movie. How great is that?”
Ohhh – scary! But has anybody seen Foxx’s character? Take a look at the clown costume he wears:
I busted a gut laughing when I first saw that picture. Yes, he’s trying sooooo hard to look baaad. But THIS is supposed to be a scary black cowboy? Jamie, you’re no Clint Eastwood. Django must be Swahili for, “Wears clothes his grandmother threw out.”
The rules for cowboy apparel are few and simple, all of which Foxx’s character tragically ignored:
1 – Cowboys do not wear jackets from the 1956 JC Penny catalog.
2 – Cowboys do not wear ANYTHING with buttons shaped like that.
3 – Cowboys DO NOT wrap sweaters around their necks. In fact, cowboys do not even own sweaters.
4 – Cowboys only wear gun holsters battered from countless gunfights and cattle drives. No cowboy would be caught dead sporting a holster fresh from the western wear supply store.
5 – Do. Not. Lose. Your. Right. Glove.
But the last rule of cowboy fashion says it all:
6 – A real cowboy doesn’t need to be told the rules of how to look like a cowboy.