November
16th 2007
NeoCons Rewrite the Declaration of Independence
Bede

Posted under Humor

NeoCons rewrite the Declaration of Independence:

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to impose its vision of freedom and democracy on all other peoples, and to assume, among the powers of the earth, the supreme station of self-righteous scold and moral engineer to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a grudging respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the imposition.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all human beings are created with an equal desire in their hearts for freedom and democracy, and that they are therefore also endowed by their Creator with an equal entitlement to freedom and democracy; that, in order to secure this freedom and democracy, it is America’s God-ordained mission to spread freedom and democracy to all men and women everywhere, regardless of whether they are currently able and willing to institute a government among themselves with its powers derived from the consent of the governed; that, whenever any country falls short of our notion of freedom and democracy, it is the right of the American people endlessly to lecture, chastise, blackmail, and cajole the leaders of that country, pushing them to institute new government, with its foundation laid on such principles and its powers organized in such form, as to us shall seem most likely to effect their freedom and democracy.

But when a long-established pattern of resistance to our counsels, pursuing invariably the same object, evinces a design to reject permanently the spread of freedom and democracy, it is our right, it is our duty, to take over such country, and to impose on it new guards for its future freedom and democracy.

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6 Comments »

6 Responses to “NeoCons Rewrite the Declaration of Independence”

  1. Filmer on 16 Nov 2007 at 2:13 pm #

    That is funny stuff.

  2. HarrisonBergeron on 16 Nov 2007 at 3:02 pm #

    Perfect.

  3. Andrew T. on 16 Nov 2007 at 9:15 pm #

    *sizzle*

  4. roho on 17 Nov 2007 at 1:38 pm #

    God save the King!

  5. david on 18 Nov 2007 at 2:42 am #

    Seig Heil Der Furer Bush

  6. Raven on 20 Nov 2007 at 3:13 am #

    Absolutely spot on!!

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