… like football, baseball, basketball and Ultimate Fighting!
Call me unpatriotic if you like, but part of me was hoping the US women would lose just so I wouldn’t have to endure more insufferable soccer talk for the next week. Any more soccer talk, and I think I would have plunged a pencil into my ear.
Tom Piatak said it right when he called soccer the metric system in short pants. I’m not inclined to believe conspiracy theories, but I can’t help but wonder if those forces trying to foist soccer off on us are part of some New World Order plot (which undoubtedly includes at least a few neocons).
You see, America is supposed to be a grand global nation, but the sports we care about are all so parochial and not befitting a universal nation. That just can’t be. A universal nation needs a universal sport, and The Powers That Be have decreed that soccer is that sport.
Well count me out! If feet and inches were good enough for my British Isle forebears, then they’re good enough for me. And if football was good enough for George Gipp, it it ought to be good enough for every red-blooded American. Do you think that if George Gipp had decided to kick a ball around the park trying to get it into a net, anyone would know who he is today? I think not. And he probably would have gotten punched in the teeth by the other neighborhood boys for his troubles. And if Ronald Reagan had played a guy who kicked a ball into a net, do you think he would have ever become President? Heck no!
Now can we please restore order to the universe so I can tune into ESPN without hearing about Han Solo’s daughter trying to keep a ball out of the net.